Ben's feelings!

This is the motto of the U.S. Army's Special Operations Aviation Regiment (Airborne) otherwise known as the "Night Stalkers". I hope to someday fly in this unit, but I have a ways to go to get myself in shape and ready for selections. This is my long term goal, And I am so lucky to have such an amazing beautiful wife, who supports me through everything, and sticks with me no matter what.
I have been very dissapointed with the whole "Big Army" (that is what the SPECOPS comunity calls the rest of the Army). Before I got to Germany I was under the impression that being a soldier was about being a part of something greater than yourself, for standing up for what is right, being part of a brotherhood, but lately I haven't seen anything of the sort. Instead of being "Service Members" we are basicly encouraged to become "Self Service Members". I do not believe this is what is taught in Army Doctrine, and I believe it makes us less effective. When did a symbol on our chest become more important than the man to your left, and your right? I was trained to believe that the life of the soldiers around you was more important than your own, and that every soldier on the battlefield feels the same way. This is the key to our success; Unity of force, and Violence of action.
When did being a "tattle tale" become an admirable trate? When did the Army start giving Platoon Leaders "brownie points" for punishing soldiers under UCMJ? To me this only reflects poorly on their leadership.
And that leads me to my next point. This whole operation in Iraq could be ended very quickly, if we were allowed to remove the "kid gloves" if leaders actualy lived up to their Warrior Ethos and "always place the mission first" and worry more about that then how they will look on CNN. It's the same old problem as always though; The "Legacy Leader" everybody wants to be remembered as a hero, not the guy who shot some car to hell in an effort to save his squad. I say the only way to stop a terrorist is to kill him, and anybody who dissagrees with me is ignorant to the facts; these people will die to kill us because they hate us that much. a great man once said that "The only thing neccessary for evil to prevail is for good men to stand by and do nothing" well I think this is what we are doing now, except it's worse than that because were doing nothing in a way that gets good people killed every day.
I'm not saying we should pull out or stay here. That isn't realy my place. I'm simply saying that the self serving leadership style that has filtered all the way down the ranks is hurting us all.
I'm getting tired of asking why we do things a certain way and being told "if it makes sense it isn't the Army way" that is so stupid. What realy sucks is this statement is very true. We often waste time doing things over and over, filling out the same stupid form, counting the same bullets, beans, or whatever else, ect. Insted of being able to call up to higher that the IP's arent at a station we have to sit there with nothing to do all day. Of course the leadership is back on the FOB asleep so why would they give a shit about us peeons anyway right? I mean were just rungs on the ladder of promotion anyway.
well I guess I better end this before I have to hire a lawer or something. I just want to have anybody who reads this pleas comment, even if you arent millitary, but before you do ask yourself one thing; would you die for your country if you knew nobody would ever know about it? that you would'nt get any medals, or promotions. No front page news story, ect. This to me is the definition of selfless service. There are countless operators who have paid this price. Brave men who fought and died protecting us from an enemy we never knew existed, in countries that we have never heard of. To me these are the real heros. Men who understand the brotherhood, and the meaning of word "Leader" these are the kind of people I want to work with.
So go ahead and tell your poser ass war stories. You can proudly wear your combat patch, CAB, and whatever else, But remember that while you are talking about how you have PTSD and your going to "combat stress" there is an operator training for or actively engaged in a mission to keep you safe
"And I heard the voice of the Lord saying who shall I send, and who will go for us? Then said I Here am I, Send me"

Some more flordia pictures to share!

Aidan sure loved Flordia! He loved the characters and thought they were quite funny and cute! He loved the water although sometimes he was very unsure about it! He was such a good kid too. We played all day and even late into the night and he was so awesome! He was tired though. When we went back to Kathy's finally he was so tired he practically slept all day and night! He loves disney just as much as mom and dad! We will have to take him again when he's a bit bigger! Dad was pretty jealous he wants to go to disney world! Well we are at the browns now for 2 weeks and will be really busy training the new nanny and getting their house unpacked! So we love you all and hope you'll take time to comment us and let us know what you think! Take care!

Some pics from Flordia!

Checking in From Flordia

Hi guys just checking in for a bit! We have been enjoying the sun in Flordia! I took Aidan to the beach for the first time and he loved it. Got a little scared of the ocean waves coming and and feeling like he was sinking! But he is a trooper and loved it! And yes I kept lots of sunscreen on him! He's so much fun and keeps growing up everyday! I taught him how to stick his tongue out and now he does it all the time! Well hope everyone is enjoying themselves......one more month and Ben is home!

Utah trip!

Aidan and I just got done watching the firetrucks put out the fire across the street from Aunt Mandy's house! This was his first time seeing the firetrucks!



Aidan was sick of the sun getting in his eyes. He took off his glasses and closed his eyes due to the sun being in his eyes


Me just goofing off out front!

Jen, Mandy and I were going to the movie and I had just colored my hair so I thought I would be silly and take pictures!


Aidan loves his Mommy!


So there is some pictures from our trip to Utah. Now we are headed to Flordia to play in the sun then back to CT for 2 more weeks then we get to go see our daddy! Yeah Ben could be home anywhere from Sept. 11-25 or so. Love you all!

Germany Countdown!

Aidan's bedtime toys

Look Ma I found my toy in here but I was too tired to stay up and play!


I love these animals from daddy!



I love them please don't take them!


Hey guys how are you all doing? We are doing great! We are a week away from seeing everyone! Can't wait to see you nana hope your feeling good! Man hasn't nana been through a lot? She's one tough lady! Well Aidan was a little fussy today he wanted everything and if he didn't get it he started to scream it was horrible! He falls asleep so cute I just love to capture him and post them! I think I love his pics while he's asleep cause he snuggles the things Ben gives him! Well take care see you all next week!

The Longest Day!

See how tired I am guys! Mommy wears me out!


Daddy wishes he could have these huh dad?



Ahh the Holladay's are gonna get you!



Oh Mom I just pooped in my pants!



HURRY CHANGE ME MY BUTT IS STINKY!


All better Mommy changed my Butt!



Well today Aidan and I did a couple of errands and waited for Daddy to call...........Guess what Daddy still hasn't called! We don't like when we can't talk to him! Hopefully soon he'll be able to call us. Its so cute that Aidan says Dada everytime my cell phone rings. Aidan honestly is the best baby ever! I always tease Ben that he makes having kids look easy so we might as well try one more time. But we have both decided to wait for a good 3 or 4 years before we add another one to the mix! Ben honestly is such a good dad even though he's so far away! He loves to just sit and watch Aidan! He could watch him all night but I make hiim go to bed! Aidan loves his picture book of his daddy and him (Thanks for making it Aunt Mandy) We can't wait to come home and see everyone! Hope your all doing so well!



Love you all tons....Below are some pictures of Aidan and I from the day! I will try to take some each day and load them! Love you all!

Growing up fast

Okay so I am not very good at keeping this updated! Things have been super crazy around here! I am doing my best at just keeping sane! I love this little boy though! He sure keeps me going! I love that his personality is just like his daddy's! He loves to say Dada and wave! Ben sure enjoys talking to him on the webcam. Aidan always types to him and it brings a smile to Ben's face! I am getting pretty excited for Ben to come home. Its about 62 days away I believe! I can't wait for him to be able to play with Aidan and for them to have time to bond! I know Daddy won't forget about mommy though! I trust him! Well Aidan is trying so hard to get up on his knees to crawl. He just can't seem to get the handle of it! He's been falling over lots and needing mommy to kiss his boo boo's but he just keeps at it and keeps trying! He's sure a little sport! He is probably so excited to get back to Germany and be the number one priority for mom. He sure has done good though while I have been working. I'm greatful for the Browns for allowing us to come and work for them. Its been good for us money wise and helping us stay busy! Well I will do better at taking pictures of Aidan and keeping you all updated! We are coming to Utah the 27th of this month and can hardly wait! We are excited to see everyone! Love you all! Feel free to leave us comments or even an email! Remember communication works both ways!

We move in tomorrow!

Hi guys just thought I would write a little something. We are moving into the new house tomorrow and nothing is really done so its going to be really nuts! I hope I will be able to keep Aidan out of the way! I don't know how well that will happen but atleast he's not mobile yet! I just won't know what to do with him! We come home in two and a half weeks to see everyone and will be helping Nana out! Hopefully this surgery will go better for her and she'll be okay! Nothing new with Ben. Aidan is sure learning his daddy's personality without him even being here! Its so funny sometimes I cry cause I am laughing so hard! Anyway just wanted to update everyone and tell them we are doing great! Love you all!

New Pictures

Update

Ok I am sorry I really suck at keeping all these blogs updated! I am pretty homesick right now cause I have to miss the wonderful 4th of July. I love that holiday and it kills me that I am stuck out here not able to be with my family. I love you all though very much. Ben is not doing so well right now he's really struggling at even being happy. Which is understandable he's got a lot on his shoulders right now. So if you all just want to send him a email to let him know you care and that you love him that'd be great his email is soldierholla@yahoo.com I am sure he'd appreciate the emails of support. I try to do my best but I bet it doesn't help to talk to me and the little dude cause he's missing out and hates that he can't see us. I can hardly wait to come home in July again! I love being by family. Thats why I find being a military wife so funny. I love being by my family and being a military wife doesn't give you that opportunity. Well I will post some more pics too. I will try to keep this updated sorry. But this week and next week will be crazy we will be moving into the new house and will have lots to do! Take care! Love you all!

The CountDown Is On!

Update

Hi everyone sorry its been a couple of days. Aidan and I are packing up this house to move into the new house! We will be going to Utah to visit July 27th thru Ausust 9th then to Flordia August 9th thru the 22nd then back to CT until September 18th then home to Germany when our daddy will be hopefully home the 20th of September! We can hardly wait for that time to come. Nothing new with us but heres some new photos!